Daily Marauder

INDECENT EXPOSURE IN FACESPACE: RELATIONSHIP STATUS

If you’ve been meandering around in Facebook for a while now, you’ve become quite familiar with the nefarious relationship status field.

Here’s a video from Break.com to give you a bit of visual background on the situation.  WARNING: SO not work appropriate.

A couple of weeks ago, I made a bold decision to remove my relationship status completely from my profile.  I know.  Shocking.  It’s the divorce court of Facebook.

Facebook deals with this removal like this:

Caroline is no longer single.

What transpired after its removal included a barrage of e-mails, wall postings, and text messages all inquiring who this new man was in my life.  Well let me tell you something Facebook, I’ve had it with you blowing up my spot.  Being a NYC female, my dating life fluctuates from week to week and I really don’t need a virtual reminder.  Nor, do I need a variety of scenarios which have popped up over the last few years. Observe.

Possibilities for Failure

Here are a few examples of ‘relationship status’ rearing its ugly head in your profile’s direction.  Take notes.

Scenario 1

Let’s say, you’ve started dating someone new.  Let’s call him X.  It’s going well, but being a bit conservative, you don’t like to label the thing something it’s not so you might tell people you’re dating someone and then again, maybe not.  So, X is checking out your profile one day and observes your ‘Single’ tag all out there in the open like.  X brings it up randomly one night in jest as if it doesn’t really matter and continues to dwell on it continuously for WEEKS.  Is it possible to break up over a relationship status?  Possible.

Scenario 2

Perhaps you’ve been dating someone (let’s call him Y) for a few weeks.  In what can only be labeled a huge oversight, you have never checked the boy’s Facebook profile.  When you do, you’re a bit shocked to find out that he’s “in a relationship” with his ex-girlfriend who he supposedly broke up with a month ago.  You break up with Y immediately only to be stalked by ex-girlfriend in true I’m-gonna-get-you-sucka fashion.  Fatal Facebook Attraction?  I don’t wanna be a statistic y’all. . .

Scenario 3

Remove your relationship status only to be stalked by someone you dated several months ago as he now deems you, ‘the one who got away’.

The Don’t List

1) Don’t be one of those people who change their status continuously from ‘in a relationship’ to out.  It’s like those people who go out and get married only to prove to their friends that they’re serious about one another, rather than because they really want to.

2) Don’t accost the person you’re dating about changing their Facebook status to reflect that you’re in a relationship.  Facebook shouldn’t define your romantic life.  If it does, I recommend removing your profile completely and going on a 12-step program.

3) Don’t keep your status locked on ‘It’s Complicated.’  It’s only funny to you.

The How To

Click here for some helpful advice on removing or changing your relationship status in MySpace or Facebook.

Past Indecent Exposure Editions

To Tag or Not to Tag?

When You’re Status Says Too Much

Applications

Friend Requests

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